Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.

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(210): View more from Texas

she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?

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(954): View more from Florida

We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.

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(630): View more from Illinois

it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.

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(206): View more from Washington

Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her

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(618): View more from Illinois

I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60

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(818): View more from California

I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian

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(727): View more from Florida

I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this

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