just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
