I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
