My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize