You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
