I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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