Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
