Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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