everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i need some magic done to my vagina
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
