I'm gonna have a badass scar
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
