I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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