What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
