You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
