WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
