If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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