Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
