i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
