K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
