he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
