Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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