what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
someone owes me an orgasm
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
