It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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