Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
