Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
