Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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