capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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