I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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