you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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