My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
