Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
