So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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