Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
