We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
A bitchslap is in order.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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