Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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