just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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