Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so let's talk penis.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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