I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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