ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
