I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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