Your mouth is God's brothel.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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