He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
