so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
