Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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