You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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