I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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