its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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