he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
