I got chris browned last night
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
no you cant smoke seaweed
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
