I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
