he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
