Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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