apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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