now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
