He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Barsexuality is the new black.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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