my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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